I nervously entered the office to meet my new supervisor for the first time.  I sat down in the chair across from his desk clinging to a white binder.  We had a brief conversation.  I asked him if it would be ok to be released for the annual career development conference to fulfill a previous commitment to organize volunteers.  He clapped his hands together and said, “That’s the kind of initiative we need around here!”  I walked out of that office with my head held high and emotions rushing through me.  What ensued was a working relationship like none other I had before.  In an instant he went from boss to mentor.

What happened in that office?  He recognized potential in me that had gone unnoticed and unappreciated by other supervisors.  I would go as far to say that he recognized potential that I didn’t even know I had.  I became excited to go to work every day and live up to the expectations he had for me, and that I now had for myself.  Through an informal mentoring relationship I found my bearings in the corporate world.  I looked to my mentor for inspiration, encouragement, guidance, feedback, and knowledge.

The relationship worked for several reasons.  We spent a lot of time together.  We respected and trusted each other.  He was over 30 years older than me and had a lot of knowledge, expertise and insight into my career field.  He enjoyed investing in people and would refer to me as his “apprentice”. We were a team and we both benefited from the relationship.   I even taught him a thing or two!

I was his assistant for a year and a half and then I went on maternity leave. I cried when I realized my relationship with my mentor was no longer going to be the same.  What I failed to learn was that I didn’t need him to be successful in my career.  I believed that my career success was dependent on him guiding me.   Although our mentoring relationship did propel me to realize my potential and succeed, it was still I that did it.  I also fell into the trap that so many job seekers fall into: approval addiction.  Needing someone to always tell you that you’re doing a good job is another sign of being too dependent on your mentor and not self-confident enough.  A good mentoring relationship, even if informal, recognizes co-dependence and has boundaries.  Coming to this realization helped me to take responsibility for my choices and reach even higher to achieve my career and life aspirations.

I deeply respect and appreciate my career mentor.  He guided me through transitional and establishing stages of my career, imparting on me experience and wisdom I may not have learned otherwise.  Now as I head into a different season of life I look to different mentors who to guide me through.   I have had mentors that guide me through life changes, career development and spirituality. 

If you are at a cross roads and are unsure of where to turn next, look for someone who has been there and done that, and can support you as you discover who you are and where you want to go.  If you already have someone in your life that has acted as a mentor, take time this week to tell them how much you appreciate them and why.  Who knows, someday the tables may turn and you will be the mentor!

"How do you thank your mentor?
He sees your potential before you do
He pushes you to reach for the stars
He encourages you to grow and learn
He provides guidance and opportunities
How do you thank your mentor?
He is kind and creative  
He is outgoing and fun-loving
He sees the big picture
And urges you to do the same
His is the opinion you hold in the greatest esteem
His is the approval that you strive for
How do you thank your mentor?
You become the person he knows you can be."
- L.C. Stewart March 2010